Hello! My name is Pat. I'll be your bulletin writer today. Did you have an opportunity to attend Monday's meeting on March 13th? If so, you may adopt a minimalist approach to the following and note only that the meeting started, people ate, talked and then left.

For those who wish more detail in order to again savor each moment of the gala event, I have put together the following recap, delighting in the journalistic license afforded me and freely changing the names of attendees to protect the innocent. Naturally, Ken Kushnir and Bob Marigo failed to qualify, Ken, because of his cell phone abuse and Bob, because of his passion for play.

Order was garnished at today's meeting when Pres. Bill Gittins, " Big Bill Blarney from Kilarney" delivered a modest rap upon the bell at 12:18 P.M. It was noted that the meeting was a joint meeting of the Santa Rosa West and Sunrise Rotary Clubs, so in addition to Bill's leadership, the meeting was also presided over by the Sunrise Pres., Shauna Lorenzen. Terry Galazzo led all in the Pledge to the Stars and Stripes and R. Perriman from the Sunrise Club tendered points to ponder.

Presidents Bill Gittins and Shauna Lorenzen

According to reliable sources, the VRC (Visiting Rotarian Count) was down an average of 30½ points with only eight present, mostly from the Pre-Cambrian Club, home of the migratory flamingo.

Let's see! Pres. Bill admonished the late arrivals at the buffet table to fill their plates, sit down and shut up. Appropriate behavior from a take charge guy.

Kushnir had to pony up $15.00 for his cell phone abuse. Ken claimed it was cheaper than listening to Pres. Bill.

Chuck Stark, who will soon be the recipient of a prolonged period of disrespect announced that (a) there will be a Board meeting tomorrow (b) the Leadership Training Seminar will be held on March 25. The Club will pay for your registration but you pay all other expenses. See Chuck.

FLASH, FLASH! Chuck just called and left a confusing message about a Dinner Dance at our club on or about April 2, a Sunday or maybe Monday April 3. He wasn't sure of the date so he called to share his uncertainty. Thanks Chuck. We are truly looking forward to your year as President.

Janet Codding advised that the expiration date for Club project determination was fast approaching. See her with your ideas before April Fool's Day is over.

Janet and Chris Parr discussed the lodging and transportation needs associated with the incoming Group Study Exchange team from The Land Of Kanak, India. Also of note is a reception at the home of the current District Governor, our own Mike Merrill at 5:00 on April 9.

Harry Rubins, purveyor of loose change, indicated that a candidate for an Ambassadorial Scholarship was being interviewed this week.

Bill Fisher flushed of face at being tapped for comment, made a few watered down remarks about the forthcoming District Conference at the Santa Rosa Golf and Country Club. Golf on May 4, Conference on May 5, set sail on the 6th for Alaska.

Pres. Shauna tried to auction off a berth at cost but quickly dropped the matter due to a complete and total lack of interest.

Pres. Shauna, utilizing a kinder, gentler approach, assessed only $5.00 fines in recognition of certain members of her club. 'Cept for John Withers, who got hit for a Jackson.

Pres. Bill, demonstrating the callous approach of a seasoned IRS agent more than made up for it.

Duncan Holt tried to leave town for RV Park in the Northeast. Didn't make it. $35.00.

Bill Fisher got hit for $40.00 for spending a few days in the hot sun in a place where your shorts were forever filling with fine, clingy sand.

Next week, "a fistful of marbles", this week, "for a few marbles more." This week saw Bob Miller fail to retrieve that which at present does not exist. Ken Kushnir, representing a consortium of really serious investors, took the money, ran out and bought two assorted packs of Pokemon Cards.